Promissio
by AlidaHush
Summary: Sequal to Condolesco. They've never been intimate...well, except that one time...
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

_His lips were hot and invading against his skin, burning like the concentrated flame of a candle. But Will didn't move. He dared not anger the man whose lips pressed harder against his, invading his mouth. The last time he tried to rebel, Angelus had given him good reason to stay put. His cheek still burned from the sharp blow of the older man's fist and he was sure a bruise was blooming near his jaw._

"_Beautiful." Angelus mumbled between kisses, lifting his mouth only to whisper senseless words that did nothing for William. As Angelus continued his invasion, William stayed as still as he possibly could. He felt Angelus' fingers roam lower down his chest and between his legs. William stiffened slightly and felt the fingers tighten around him. With a groan he closed his eyes._

_Angelus would never know how much he wanted to strike out and protect himself from his actions, but that was a value Will had long learned to forget. Finding protection from Angelus was like finding protection in the sunlight. Impossible._

Spike groaned and rolled over, his eyes trying hard to blink away the images that had invaded his head during sleep. I_Another ruddy dream about him…/I_ Spike thought, pressing the heel of his hand to his eye and rubbing the sleep away.

For a few days now, he'd been having flashbacks to the time when Angelus and William weren't just Sire and Childe. Spike shuddered and shook his head, hoping the images would fade like normal dreams did. He tried hard not to think about those days anymore, but lately it was becoming more difficult.

_Why? Because you let Angel kiss you? Wanker probably got off on it like always._ Spike told himself as he stood up and pulled a shirt over his head, inwardly sighing with relief when he felt the fabric brush over his fingertips with perfect clarity.

That kiss had been more than a week ago, but he could still feel it as if it had just happened. _Come off it. You're fixated._ _It didn't mean anything./I _He tried to convince himself. It wasn't working. He knew what he had felt. That's why he pushed Angel away. Why he told him 'no' that night…

_He felt his Sire's lips brush his own and he briefly wondered if he had fallen unconscious and was now dreaming. But when he felt the gentle touch of Angel's thumb running down his cheek, he leaned into the reality of the touch. Since when was Angelus ever gentle?_

_No, not Angelus. Angel…_

_God, he hadn't felt that in years. No one had touched him like that for so long. Not even Buffy._

_His hands began to roam lower. His fingers curled around the waistband of Spike's jeans._

_Suddenly, something sparked inwardly that made him pull away from Angel, watching as Angel's hands fell into his lap, helplessly. Spike shook his head quickly. The scene was too familiar…_

"_No. Not like this." He sighed, closing his eyes and taking a deep breathe. He knew Angel didn't understand, but that didn't matter. Spike wasn't going to let him take advantage of him like he used to. He knew why Angel was doing what he was doing, he wasn't stupid. But, centuries of abstinence had gone by and one night of weakness wasn't going to happen. He had spent too long building the wall against his Sire. Tears weren't going to tear it down. Not this time._

"_Not like before." Spike said, struggling to his feet and walking toward the door. Angel let him go._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The vampire leapt at him, snarling and catching Spike off guard. He grunted as the blow fell quickly on his shoulder blade. But, he recovered and spun around to hit the demon square in the jaw. The small vampire flew backwards a few feet, but came back, showing his fangs and snarling again. Spike just laughed.

"_Always liked it this way, haven't you?" Angelus asked, pressing his leg into William's groin. William closed his eyes and shook his head. Angelus' fingers curled mercilessly around Will's hair, stopping his movements and laughing._

"_Stop…" he whispered bravely as his Sire gave his head a violent shove and pressed his bruising lips against his._

"_Never," Angelus said, fumbling with the buttons of his trousers. "Never."_

The vampire flew backwards, the brick wall shattering against his weight. Spike smiled and removed a stake from his duster pocket, making sure the offending vamp could see that he meant business.

"What's your problem, man?" the downed vamp asked, scrambling to his feet as Spike shrugged and smirked.

"That's a loaded question, mate." he said, leaping forward and plunging the stake into the demon's chest. As the cloud of dust hit him, he turned the vampire's question over in his mind. He wasn't quite sure why, but the vampire was right, what Iwas/I his problem?

_Oh, yeah. Angel, _he thought, sighing and willing the images of his Sire out of his head. It was no use; the images flooded his consciousness again.

_He felt the broken bone of his hip grind against the shattered remnants of his spine. Something crunched and blood splattered around his legs. _

"_Try not to move, Will." a voice said close to his head. For a moment he wished someone would tell him what was going on or at least touch him so he knew they were there. No one was touching him and felt suddenly alone. _

"_Ang-Angelus?" he whispered to the darkness. No one answered. He felt something twist in his abdomen and the sound of more bones grinding. He couldn't feel much of the pain, but what he could feel was a dull ache around his thighs. _

_Something warm touched his stomach and began to trickle down to his ankles. _

"_Angelus?" he asked again weakly. In reply, he heard the sound of dry twigs snapping and then a jolt of pain radiate up to his neck. His lips contorted into a painful 'O' and tears strained at the corners of his eyes._

"_Quiet William. You've caused enough trouble." he heard his Sire shout. _

_A stinging blow rained down on his cheek and he tasted blood._

"_Broken legs." Angelus spat. William thought he must have been shaking his head. "Broken legs is all. You're lucky I don't cane you as well." _

With a heavy sigh, he dropped the stake and shook his head. He was sick of feeling this way. He would have to do the one thing he promised himself over and over he wouldn't do.

He'd have to confront the problem.

- - -

Someone cleared their throat and Spike turned around to face a very sour looking Angel. Spike sighed and shifted slightly, beginning to regret his decision of asking him to come to the apartment. _What the bloody hell was I thinking?_ he asked himself, shaking his head.

"Look, if you're gonna go all "corporate glower" on me, then forget it." Spike snapped defensively. That, at least, got Angel to raise and eyebrow for a second. But it was only a second, because his face, once again, became a hard, expressionless block of stone.

"Spike." he said stiffly. It was a warning. Spike knew it all too well.

"Look, we just need to talk, is all. Alright?" Spike replied quickly, narrowing his eyes.

There was a moment of silence, then Angel sighed and nodded. "Alright." he put his hands into his pockets and cleared his throat. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's _wrong_, you wanker," Spike barked quickly, sitting down on the sofa and letting his arms drop between his knees. He could almost hear Angel roll his eyes. This, already, wasn't going well at all and they both knew it. Angel knew that Spike was never one to share what he was feeling and Spike knew that Angel was never one to hear about it.

Spike began to fidget with the edge of the ratty sofa, tapping his foot in frustration. It was clear there Iwas/I a problem and that Angel was probably going to have to beat it out of him. Angel shut his eyes for a moment, gathering himself into some sort of manageable person, then softly sat down next to his Childe. Spike glanced briefly at Angel's position and quickly went back to picking at the sofa's material, pretending Angel wasn't there. He had already run out of things to say and he hadn't even said anything yet.

"Then why am I here?" Angel asked softly, his voice giving nothing away about his emotion. His tone was even and calming. It was the same voice he used with William when things got too confusing for him to handle. The rule was: always keep it simple. Spike hadn't changed much over the years. It was still up to Angel to keep things simple.

"You kissed me." Spike replied, refusing to look at Angel.

"I did." he admitted evenly.

"Why?"

"Because you were hysterical."

There was silence. Spike had stopped moving and fixed his gaze on the floor.

"That's not why," he finally said, chancing a sideways look at the man next to him. Angel's face was a mixture of confusion and guilt. "We both know that."

After another moment, "You're right." he said simply, his voice still even and emotionless, as if he were giving someone an instruction. "I wanted to help you. I needed you to calm down."

"So you were going to _fuck_ me?" Spike sneered bitterly, finally turning to face his Sire. "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not an idiot, Angel. You haven't changed one bit. Soul or no soul, you still think you can control me like you did back then."


	3. Chapter 3

"I didn't want to control you, Spike."

"Then what _did_ you want?"

"To make you understand." Angel snapped back, standing and towering over the sofa. Spike pulled back slightly, closing his eyes and shaking his head, confused.

"Understand what?"

"That I care about you."

"Oh, come off it, Angel! You don't give a piss about me," Spike snarled, standing and coming toe to toe with him. "You never have. I wasn't much more than your fucking post back then. That's all I still am."

"You _wanted _it, Spike. You came to _me_ that day, remember?"

"I was," Spike stopped, thinking. "Confused." he said finally, turning his back to Angel and stalking toward the fridge. He heard Angel heave a sigh and he knew he must be shaking his head.

It was getting too complicated for Spike, Angel realized. The questions were getting too hard for him to answer without his pride getting in the way. So, he regrouped as Spike popped the top on a beer and sank into the near-bye kitchen chair.

"Do you remember when you came home that night we were in Brussels and you asked me to set your wrist? You'd broken it in a fight at a pub."

Spike thought for a moment. "Yeah, I think so." he said softly, taking a sip of his beer.

"I never set your wrist. I broke your arm."

Spike looked up in confusion, hatred coloring his eyes. "Why you tellin' me this?" he asked, scoffing.

"After I broke your arm, I—"

"Reamed me royally?" Spike supplied, unphased. He sipped his beer again. He was beginning to understand where this conversation was going.

"You never got into a pub fight again."

Spike stopped drinking his beer and let it come to rest on the table again with a 'thunk'. He was starring at the floor.

"So, what's your point? You were still going to fuck me sideways a week ago." he drank again, still looking at the floor. "Last time I looked we stopped playing Sire and Childe years ago. I asked you to hurt me, not rape me." he stood up quickly, abandoning his beer.

Angel wasn't really sure what to say next. Spike was right, but on the other hand, he wasn't even sure what Spike meant.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"You used to call it being "intimate", all those times. I never had the balls to tell you it was just cold, hard sex." Spike replied coolly, cocking his chin upward. "Used to tell me you loved me."

"I did."

"May I point out the usage of the past tense?" Spike said sarcastically, shaking his head and picking up his beer again. He started to pace.

"I don't know what you're getting at, Spike." Angel replied, pinching the bridge of his nose. Spike was making no sense to him at all. Intimacy? Rape? Sex? Angel knew it was all different, but Spike never seemed to care back then. Angel only did what he felt Spike wanted him to do. Back then Spike had never stopped him; he let it happen and he never said otherwise. Spike was simple and Angel kept it so.

So what was so different now?

As if reading his mind, Spike stopped pacing and sighed, "Back then I was too weak to fight back." he shrugged. "Just wanted someone to love. Guess I never knew the difference between love and hate."

"Spike…" Angel tried, but Spike interrupted.

"_Do_ you love me?" he asked suddenly.

Angel looked up and stared at him, hard. "Yes." he replied truthfully after a moment of thought.

Spike laughed slightly and put the beer bottle onto the table. He took a step toward Angel, who was still starring at him with a wary, stone cold expression. Spike nodded and leaned forward, pressing his lips against Angel's in an innocent kiss. At first Angel began to pull away, but Spike put a hand to the back of his neck and held him where he was, just as Angel had done with him.

After a few moments, Angel finally managed to pull away, a questioning expression crossing his face. "What the hell are you doing?"

Spike smiled and nodded, "Getting what I came for a week ago."

Angel cocked his head, leaning forward and kissing Spike full on the mouth. Spike accepted his Sire and pulled him closer. It wasn't the deep invading kisses that Spike had learned to accept from Angelus. It was the sweet, delicate kiss that Spike had felt a little over a week ago. It was the gentleness he had dreamed of and nothing like the time of Angelus and Will.

It was intimacy.

Angel gently maneuvered Spike toward the small bed at the other end of the apartment, pulling the dark shirt over his head. Spike fumbled with the buttons of his Sire's pants. Angel just chuckled and gently pushed his hands away into the mattress of the bed.

Angel was beginning to understand Spike now. He didn't want to be fucked, or "had" or any of the other brutal things Angelus did to him once upon a time. He wanted to be intimate with Angel; he always had. Some part of Angel knew, he supposed, but he just didn't want to believe it or deal with it at the time.

So, Angel's kisses were gentle and precise, finding their target and lingering like a million tiny flames.

"Don't hurt me…?" Spike whispered, pleading. Angel nodded into his neck, kissing him again.

"Never."

Spike looked at him, breaking away from the kiss. _Heard that before…_ Spike thought, suddenly wary. Angel just sighed and kissed him again.

"I promise."

- - -

Illyria walked behind him, trailing him as he followed the scent of the demon. They were close.

"You'll have proof soon enough. A corrupted ruler on such a path sees treachery and betrayal all around him. He cannot suffer intimates and will eventually turn against them." she said, preaching as she always did.

Spike laughed, "Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never been intimate."

Suddenly, Spike remembered something. Something important.

'Cept that one…"


End file.
